Copyright: Patti Henry, 2004

What Else Do Grown-Ups Do?  

When I was in my 20’s, I never could seem to send birthday cards on time. After all, that required remembering the date, buying the card, signing it, addressing the envelope, having a stamp, and putting it in the mailbox – all well in advance of the actual date. I struggled with this for years. I even went through a phase of buying only belated birthday cards – figuring I might as well face the fact of my inability to get it right. Then one day, years into the pattern, I said to myself, “Wait a minute. This is not that hard. Why am I making it so hard? Adults can send birthday cards on time. I’m an adult, I’m bright, I’m capable, I can do this, too.” And I did. And I still do.  

What I realized was my inability to send birthday cards was really just my resistance to growing up. I didn’t want to be an adult – all that responsibility. I wanted someone else to do the hard things. Not me!  

Yet I’ve come to know, over the years, that freedom and power are in adult, not child. Having a “self” is in adult, not child. Living a life that isn’t ruled by fear is in adult, not child. Being able to love and to be loved is in adult, and not child. In other words, the good stuff – the really good stuff – is in adult, not child.  

I talked to a friend of mine about this – one who could never seem to pay his bills on time. He constantly griped about the late fees and yet he continued to be delinquent month after month. I said to him, “Adults pay their bills on time.” It struck him like a brick. Finally he said, “You’re right. I’m acting like a little boy. What else do adults do?”  

Well…  

Adults don’t run away from problems.

Adults don’t hide.

Adults do difficult tasks.

Adults keep their houses clean.

Adults tell the truth.

Adults walk in integrity.

Adults earn a living.

Adults brainstorm to come up with solutions.

Adults have their own authority and don’t give it away to others.

Adults live in sobriety.

Adults speak up.

Adults are proactive.

Adults arrive on time.

Adults drive reasonably.

Adults unpack their suitcases after a trip.

Adults don’t blame others.

Adults keep their word. They do what they say they will.

Adults may feel afraid, but they do it anyway.

Adults ask questions, gather information, and then act.

Adults make conscious decisions.

Adults live intentionally.

Adults send birthday cards on time.  How about you? What are you doing to resist growing up?