The beginning of a new year: 2007. And as John Lennon said, "and what have you done? Another year older; a new one just begun."

It’s time to evaluate. Let’s look at 2006 and peek at 2007 as well.

For 2006, did you reach all your goals? I didn’t. I’m still trying to get on Oprah. I’m still trying to stop drinking Dr. Pepper. I’m still trying to get my second book really started. I, honestly, have fallen a bit short of reaching my goals from LAST New Year’s. Perhaps you have too.

No worries. The good news is rollovers are permitted. Your unfinished 2006 goals can be renewed. It’s time: keep the goals you still want to finish and move on from the rest.

In 2006, did you grieve all your losses? Loss is part of life and nobody gets out of it. The key is grieving. Those who grieve well, live well. Grieving – facing the feelings we have about our losses and disappointments – lets us clean out our soul. Spending time in solitude with God, with water, with the great mystery of life, with whatever brings you peace, and letting yourself feel the sadness, the emptiness, the anger, the sorrow – let’s us restore our wholeness. If you haven’t finished your 2006 grieving, bring it with you into 2007, and do the work. It will pay off in allowing you to blossom later in the year.

Lastly, in 2006, did you celebrate what you did right? As a psychotherapist I am very familiar with the 12-Step Programs, the most famous being AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. I love these programs – they have been life-saving for millions. Interestingly, though, is that I have found when working on the steps with someone, that there is a common glitch at Step Four. Step Four is: we make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

Now, most people can tell me immediately all of their faults, their downfalls, all the things that they have done wrong in life. What they can’t tell me, however, is what they did RIGHT. Step Four is a complete inventory: not just the bad, but the good. Therefore, I suggest when you look back at 2006, that you take some time to make note of what you got right. You are an amazing human being – you did amazing things in 2006. Hard things. Good for you.

So, let’s package up 2006: knowing we didn’t get it all right – but we got SOME of it right. And that 2007 is here to give us another chance.

For 2007, I’m going to suggest to you two New Year’s Resolutions. These are by no means edicts. They are more like, as they say in the "Pirates of the Caribbean," guidelines.

First, be more amused in 2007. Rosita Perez tells a wonderful story of when she was 15 having just moved from New York City to Miami. She talks about the door bell ringing and when she answered it, there stood a little pirate grinning and spouting, "Trick of Treat!" while holding out a shopping bag full of candy. In Rosita’s words: I hesitated, but finally reached into the bag and took out a piece of candy. I smiled and thanked him profusely, "What a wonderful thing to do! Thank you so much!"

Of course when her younger brother heard of this and set her straight, it was time to laugh and laugh. That pirate must have had quite a story to tell when he got home!

You see, there’s humor everywhere. If you can train yourself to see it, then you can enjoy the twists and turns of life so much more. And begin to see that it’s all good.

A second resolution, look for the good. One of my friends shared with me a brilliant little exercise he had come across about "How to be Happier." I share it with you. At the end of the day, think for a moment about three things that went well in the day. That’s it.

Sounds simple. But, you know, for most of us, it is so easy to be drawn to what went wrong – just like a magnet. We must, therefore, make a little effort – on purpose -- to focus in on what went well. I tell you, it’s worth it. I am loving this little exercise.

Anything can count, too. On December 26, I took my two boys to the mall to exchange a gift one of them had gotten. I was a bit grumbly about their wanting to go on the 26^{th with a million other people, but I went. We ended up in LIDS, a baseball cap store. My younger son immediately found a $23 hat that he wanted and asked, "Can you please buy me this, mom?" Now, it’s the day after Christmas! I said, "Honey, I spent all my bucks on you yesterday. Remember all the presents you got? I promise you, I am not buying more things today!"}

And then the miracle happened. His older brother walked over and said, "I’ll buy it for you. In fact, I’m going to buy one for me, too, so we can match." And he did! Two brothers, loving each other, getting along, being generous with each other, connected, walked out of that store in matching hats.

Wow. That went on my list. On good days I write them down. On tired days, I just think them.

In summary, I look forward to a good 2007 for you, and I hope you make the effort to be more amused and to look for the good. May both of these simple resolutions help you be a healing force in your marriage, your family, and the world.